


but strangely your mange is the same

by orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, F/M, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, everyone hates burr, not a very good one, rating is for swearing and crude humor, sorry lin, wow a hamilton chatroom fic so original
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9467540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: gay.ham added mull-i-can, frenchfry, and jlrns to yankee doodle dandyfrenchfry: ,,,,whygay.ham: because i'm being forced to make conversation with jefferson and i need moral support





	1. what is happening

 

_gay.ham has created a group chat_

 

 _gay.ham has changed the chat name to_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 _gay.ham added_ **_mull-i-can_** _,_ **_frenchfry_** _, and_ **_jlrns_ ** _to_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **frenchfry:** ,,,why

 

 **gay.ham:** because i am being forced to make conversation with jefferson and i need moral support

 

 **jlrns:** do you need me to kick his ass

 

 **gay.ham:**???? you're in south carolina

 **gay.ham:** and are you even tall enough to reach tjeffs ass

 

 **jlrns:** ,,,,,,,,,,,dragged by my own bf smh

 

 **jlrns:** also im taller???

 

 **gay.ham:** don't patronize me

 **jlrns:** so why do you need to talk to jefferson anyway

 

 **gay.ham:** he was talking shit saying how my "queer freak mind" somehow convinced me that bisexuality was a thing etc etc

 

 **jlrns:** i will nyoom all the way there from sc to punch him in the mouth i s2g alex

 **jlrns:** just say the word

 

 **frenchfry:** but,,,,,, jefferson is in a relationship with madison, is he not?

 

 **gay.ham:** ,,,,,,he was literally trashing me for my sexuality five ducking minutes ago i sincerely doubt it

 

 **frenchfry:** how you say...............

 **frenchfry:** what fuck??

 

 **mull-i-can:** babe

 **mull-i-can:**  you've been here for 4 years you know how to curse correctly

 

 **frenchfry:** **(ง'̀-'́)ง**

 

 **gay.ham:** anyway gwash caught us arguing and we’re being forced to sit together like we’re 5

 

 **jlrns:** okay it’s official i’m leaving sc early

 **jlrns:** i’ll be there in a few days

 

 **mull-i-can:**!!!!! we should celebrate

 

 **frenchfry:** i'll bring the wine

**________________________________________________**

**jlrns:** does anyone know how to do the history assignment due at the end of the week i missed literally everything

 

 **mull-i-can:** we had a history assignment??

 

 **gay.ham:** ugh oh no

 **gay.ham:** you guys brought this upon yourselves but

 

 **_gay.ham_ ** _added_ **_aar.burr_ ** _to_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **aar.burr:** why am i here

 **aar.burr:**  i’m supposed to be doing a homework assignment

 

 **mull-i-can:** what is this assignment you speak of???

 

 **aar.burr:** It’s on the American Revolution

 **aar.burr:**  literally what else do they teach us

 

 **mull-i-can:** is that the one with hitler

**  
**

**aar.burr:** I'm... not even going to dignify that with a response

 **aar.burr:** Don’t make me get Washington.

 

 **frenchfry:** i doubt washington would bother. he is a busy man

 

 **aar.burr:** He’s the damn teacher

 

 **gay.ham:** um guys sorry to interrupt but i’m like 99.9999% sure i’m going to end up punching jeffs in the stomach

 **gay.ham:** sOmEONE hold mE bAck

 

 **aar.burr:** Now, you be careful Hamilton.  

 **aar.burr:** I’d gladly kick him in a worse place, but we got to be cautious

 

 **_gay.ham_ ** _added_ **_georgewash_ ** _to_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **gay.ham:** ive been threatened

 

 **georgewash:** wow look at all the shits i give

 **georgewash:** oh no they’ve disappeared

 **georgewash:** Sorry, long day. What do you need, Alex? You should be resting.

 

 **gay.ham:** burr just openly stated his opinion and i think this is the 7th seal of the apocalypse

 

 **georgewash:** I never though of you as the type to believe in that sort of thing.

**  
**

**gay.ham:** o yeah

 **gay.ham** forgot abt that

 

 **jlrns:** i didn’t ;*

 

 **aar.burr:** I can report you for indecency. The crude language between Hamilton and John Laurens in not appropriate with a teacher here. 

 

 **mull-i-can:** who are you trying to fool

 **mull-i-can:** we know you are violently bisexual

 **aar.burr:**   give me one example

 

 **jlrns: “** oh Mr. Washington! I’ve always admired how you argue with the other teachers without insulting them directly! I’d love to work with you! Mwah~” -you probably at some point

 

 **georgewash** : What. 

 

 **_aar.burr_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **georgewash:** Should I go talk to him?

 

 **frenchfry:** he will be fine

 **frenchfry:** but it seems alexander found this... humorous

 **frenchfry:** he is currently laying across the table

 **frenchfry:** jefferson is looking at him strangely. 

 

 **georgewash:**  Why do I have idiots for students?  

 **georgewash:** My only good student is Burr.

 

 **jlrns:** (¬‿¬)

 

 **georgewash:**  oh hush

 

 **_georgewash_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

**_______________________________________________**

**frenchfry:** i found burr outside the classroom. i fear you may have broken him

 

 **jlrns:** haha he cant catch me from the other side of the country

 **jlrns:** fite me

 

 **gay.ham:** you’re like 5’6

 

 **mull-i-can:** rt

 

 **frenchfry:** rt

 **_aar.burr_ ** _has rejoined_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **aar.burr:** “Fite” is spelled 'fight.'

 

 **_aar.burr_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **jlrns:** he came in to roast me and then left the salt is strong with this one

 

 **mull-i-can:** this will be so much more amusing when u come home and actually have to face this dude

 

 **jlrns:** dont remind me

**_____________________________________________**

**gay.ham:** k gwash finally let us go ive been revived

 

 **gay.ham:** ofc tjeffs just goes with madison immediately

 **gay.ham:** i have friends too ya know

 **gay.ham:** guys?

**______________________________________________**

  
  
  
  


 


	2. mr. laurens welcome home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unnecessary amount of characters are introduced and everyone ships jeffmads

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My co-author and I ended up writing this at about one in the morning, so please pardon any mistakes. We hope you like it!
> 
> Also yes Laurens' pilot experience is from that one tumblr post

  
  
  


**_frenchfry_ ** _added_ **_gay.ham_** _,_ **_mull-i-can_** _,_ **_jlrns_** _,_ **_aar.burr_** _,_ **_washingmachine_** _,_ **_madasahatter_** _,_ **_jefferoni_** _,_ **_angel_ ,** ** _eliiiza_** _,_ **_for.shame_ ,** ** _char.lee,_ ** _and_ **_georgie <3 _ ** _to_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

  


**gay.ham:** question

 **gay.ham:** ,,,,,,washingmachine??

 

 **frenchfry:** washington.  

 **frenchfry:** courtesy of yours truly

 

 **washingmachine:** hi?

 

 **aar.burr:** oh hooray another one of these

 **aar.burr:** how i relish in my phone being blown up by messages about alexanders and laurens relationship daily

 

 **jlrns:** love you too bb

 

 **gay.ham:** ?????

 **gay.ham:** um yes hello is there something you’d like to tell me

 

 **jlrns:** is this jealousy i detect mr ham? Even after last night>

 

**gay.ham:**

****

**mull-i-can:** well this is not the conversation i thought id be seeing today

 

 **frenchfry:** ye we’re all still here

 **frenchfry:** wait

 **frenchfry:** why do you respond to them and not me?

 

 **mull-i-can:** cuz they're my friends

 

 **jlrns:** get a room

 

 **_mull-i-can_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **_frenchfry_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **gay.ham:** did they just,,,

 

 **washingmachine:** shouldn’t you boys be still in school?

 

 **aar.burr:** they just passed me

 **aar.burr:** together,,,

 

 **jefferoni:** ew

 

 **madasahatter:** thomas no

 

 **char.lee:** you would be the one to make a comment like that, jefferson

 

 **jefferoni:** you mean im in my right mind?? yeah thanks

 

 **georgie <3: **youre not in your right mind

 **george <3: **and neither is madison

 

 **jefferoni:** contrary to popular belief two men can actually be friends without being gay for eachother

 **jefferoni:** also fun fact i have a girlfriend

 

 **georgie <3: ** funny how madison isn’t saying a thing

 **georgie <3:** he’s lettin you defend him

 

 **madasahatter:** or i could be staying out of it because i know when to keep my mouth shut ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **aar.burr:** finally someone fucking listens

 **aar.burr:** also, George, choose your battles wisely

 **aar.burr:** (you're losing this one)

 

 **char.lee:** OKAY yes that's enough

 

 **for.shame:** careful, Charlie

 

 **char.lee:** thats it we’re leaving

 **char.lee:** lez go guys

 

 **_char.lee_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **_georgie <3 _ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **_for.shame_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **jefferoni:** wow nice job hamilton you made them leave

 

 **gay.ham:**?? how in any way ?? is that my fault??

 

 **jefferoni:** it was your bff that was dragging him in the first place

 

 **_aar.burr_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **gay.ham:** bitch please

 **gay.ham:** number one

 **gay.ham:** burr and i arent even friends??

 **gay.ham:** number two

 

 **washingmachine:** boys

 **washingmachine:** settle down or you'll all get detentions

 

 **angel:** AND LADIES

 

 **eliiiza:** don't forget us, fish!!!

 

 **gay.ham:** did u guys rlly wait for this moment to come in or do you both have impeccable timing

 

 **angel:** fuck off

 **angel:** well do what we want when we want

 

 **gay.ham:** sorry??

 

* * *

 

 **jlrns:** ON THE PLANE

 **jlrns:** omfg this is the best thing

 **jlrns:** IM FKING CHOKING THIS PILOT IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL

 **jlrns:** “for those of you traveling with children,,,, WHY”

 **jlrns:** when we landed he goes “okay now get out” IM  D E C E A S E D

 

 **washingmachine:** if only I could do that without getting fired

 

 **gay.ham:** ,,,,you can get in trouble for that??? what is life???

 

 **washingmachine:**  difficult

 

* * *

 

 **jlrns:** driving home from the airport now ;DD

 **jrns:** should be home in a few

 

 **jefferoni:** ooh boy more pda in the middle of classrooms i sure am lookin forward to it

 

 **washingmachine:** you’re one to talk

 **washingmachine:** you and sally need to calm down

 

 **angel:** ahh leave the thomas alone

 

 **gay.ham:** since when??? are you friends???

 

 **angel:** since he oh so secretly helped convince the school board to fix the guys dress code to be of the same strictness of the girls

 

 **madasahatter:** holy shit thomas really?

 

 **jefferoni:** i thought we agreed to never bring that up again

 

 **angel:**  ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 **washingmachine:** that was very good of you, Jefferson

 **washingmachine:** but it also didn’t make much difference

 

 **eliiiza:** schools are really sexist

 **eliiiza:** no offense, mr washington

 

 **washingmachine:** none taken

 **washingmachine:** i happen to agree

 

 **jefferoni:** yes fantastic great madison and i are going to study now

 **jefferoni:** good day angelica, eliza

 **jefferoni:** hamilton i hope you decide to jump into the sun

 

 **madasahatter:** looking forward to it thomas :)

 

 **gay.ham:** ‘:)’?

 **gay.ham:** how scandalous

 **gay.ham:** when are you gonna come out, jeffmads

 

 **jlrns:** rt (at my apartment now btw)

 

 **_madasahatter_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **_jefferoni_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **washingmachine:** im sick of this

 **washingmachine:** if you decide to invite me to another one of these things, there will be no infighting

 **washingmachine:** good day ladies, gentlemen

 

 **_washingmachine_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 **jlrns:** guess it’s just us alex

 **jlrns:** ;)

 

 **gay.ham:** really looking forward to seeing you again

 **gay.ham:** missed you

 **gay.ham:** <33

 

 **jlrns:** i mean,,,,

 **jlrns:** im home rn

 

 **gay.ham:** be there in 5 ;)

 

 **angel:** tf you guys do realize we’re still here right

 

 **eliiiza:** i think we just witnessed a moment

 

 **gay.ham:** quiet you

* * *

 


	3. and send you straight to

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> madasahatter: thomas stop it
> 
>  
> 
> gay.ham: please make him
> 
> gay.ham: laurens said i can’t kill him in his sleep
> 
>  
> 
> madasahatter: can’t im sick
> 
>  
> 
> jefferoni: hold on
> 
> jefferoni: stop the fucking bus
> 
> jefferoni: you waited until now to tell me this???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP, so sorry we haven’t updated until now! The weather has been crazy lately, so my co-writer and I haven't been able to meet up. Also, this chapter is a just a lil more serious than the others—not sad or anything, we're just saving a lot of jokes for later on. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
> 
> (Also, I had to finish this without my co-writer, so I apologize if the writing seems slightly different.)

 

 ** _frenchfry_** _has_ _added_ ** _madasahatter_** _,_ ** _jefferoni_** _, and_ ** _gay.ham_** _to_ ** _get along vous choux_**

 

_**gay.ham** has removed **jefferoni** from **get along vous choux**_

 

 **frenchfry:** alexander

 

 **gay.ham:** ughh

 

_**gay.ham** has added **jefferoni** to **get along vous choux**_

 

 **jefferoni:** oh man i sure do feel special

 

 

 **madasahatter:** ignore him

 **madasahatter:** he’s just upset that his girlfriend has finally ended their relationship

 

 

 **gay.ham:** great googly moogly i can’t imagine why!!

  **gay.ham:** i mean who wouldn’t want to date a man whod rather stick his hand in a blender than admit hes wrong

  **gay.ham:** isn’t that right, thom-ass???

 

 

 **jefferoni:** ohhh shit sorry i’m still looking

 

 

 **gay.ham** : for what

 

 

 **jefferoni:** for where the fuck i asked for your opinion

  **jefferoni:** hmm nope nothing so far

 

 

 **madasahatter:** that’s enough, thomas

 

 

 **gay.ham:** please make him stop

  **gay.ham:** laurens said i can’t kill him in his sleep

 

 

 **madasahatter:** can’t im sick

 

 

 **jefferoni:** hold on

  **jefferoni:** stop the fucking bus

  **jefferoni:** you waited until now to tell me this???

 

 **_jefferoni_ ** _has created a private chat with_ **_madasahatter_ **

 

 **jefferoni:** you okay???

 

 

 **madasahatter:** im fine

 

 

 **jefferoni:** yeah right thats why i can hear you coughing from here

 

 

 **madasahatter:** you act like this is impressive

  **madasahatter:** you live ten feet away

 

 

 **jefferoni:** fuck anything i can do to help??

  **jefferoni:** i can bring mac n cheese

 

 

 **madasahatter:** NO

  **madasahatter:** no thank you

  **madasahatter:** but there is something you can do to help me

 

 

 **jefferoni:** ,,,,what is it

  **jefferoni:** if it involves selling my soul you’re too late

 

 

 **madasahatter:** no. all im gonna say is,,,, it might be nice,,,,

  **madasahatter:** if you would try and get along with hamilton

  **madasahatter:** just for today

 

 

 **jefferoni:** pffffftHHAHAASSJSJSBJ

  **jefferoni:** oh my god wait

 **jefferoni:** youre being serious, arent you?

 

 

 **madasahatter:**  if you could refrain from mocking me in my time of need thatd be great

  **madasahatter:** i feel awful, and you two fighting is certainly not helping. but if you stopped…..

 

 

 **jefferoni:** right right sorry

  **jefferoni:** i know you don’t like being under stress when sick

 

 

 **madasahatter:** …

  **madasahatter:**  sooo is that a yes im hearing?

 

 

 **jefferoni:** ughhhhHhhhHhhHHHHhhh

  **jefferoni:** illl see what i can do

* * *

**yankee doodle dandy**

 

 **mull-i-can:** absolutely not

  **mull-i-can:** metal crusher is about a bajillion times better, come on

 

 

 **jlrns:** now that’s where you’re fucking wrong

 

 

 **mull-i-can:** megalovania is THE most overrated song in existence!!!!

  **mull-i-can:** liz back me up here

 

 

 **eliiiza:** i’m more of a “Home” kind of gal to be honest

 

 

 **mull-i-can:** that’s it

 **mull-i-can:** you’re all dead to me

 

 

 **frenchfry:**!!!!

 

 **mull-i-can:** except you

  **mull-i-can:** because you see that megalovania is a fucking awful song

 

 

 **frenchfry:** ,,,,,,,,,,

 

 **frenchfry:** ah,,,,, actually…..

 

 **_mull-i-can_ ** _has left_ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

* * *

 

 **_jefferoni_ ** _has created a private chat with_ **_gay.ham_ **

 

 **jefferoni:** i need to talk to you

 

 

 **gay.ham:** ……

 **gay.ham:** should i be concerned

 **gay.ham:** did madison finally snap and kill a man

 

 

 **jefferoni:** hilarious

 

 

 **gay.ham:** i just insulted your boyfriend and all i get is a ‘hilarious’???

 **gay.ham:** who are you and what have you done with the real jefferson?

  **gay.ham:** maybe this one will have better dress sense! ;D

 

 

 **jefferoni:** number one

  **jefferoni:** james is not and never will be my boyfriend

  **jefferoni:** number two

  **jefferoni:** i have been convinced by a… private party. to get along with you until they recover

 

 

 **gay.ham:** oh. my. god.

  **gay.ham:** madison has you whipped

 

 

 **jefferoni:** hamilton

 

 

 **gay.ham:** okay okay

  **gay.ham:** ummmmmmmmmmmm yeah sure… under one condition

 

 

 **jefferoni:** absolutely not

 

 

 **gay.ham:** you don’t even know what i was going to say

 

 

 **jefferoni:** didn’t have to. anything that comes out of that mouth of yours is guaranteed to be trash

 

 

 **gay.ham:** jesus christ just hear me out

  **gay.ham:** i will agree to stop fighting for an entire MONTH if you answer this question truthfully

 

 

 **jefferoni:** ….

  **jefferoni:** im listening

 

  **gay.ham:** okay

 **gay.ham:** are you absolutely, positively, completely, super, mega quadruple sure that you. are. straight?

 

 

 **jefferoni:** hamilton

 **jefferoni:** i gave you the freedom to ask me any question you wanted. a chance to run my entire party and my reputation into the ground

 

 

 **gay.ham:**  yes 

 

 **jefferoni:** and you decided to ask me

 **jefferoni:** whether or not i like to screw guys

 

 **gay.ham:**  nnnnot exactly what i said but close enough 

 

 **jefferoni:** ,,,,do i dare ask why?

 

  **gay.ham:** honestly?

  **gay.ham:** im just really fucking curious

  **gay.ham:** and, while this is completely irrelevant, there may or may not be a betting pool going on

 

 

 **jefferoni:**...for a whole month?

 

 

 **gay.ham:** for a whole month

 

 

 **jefferoni:** fine

 **jefferoni:** i don’t know

 

 

 **gay.ham:** what?

 

 

 **jefferoni:** that’s my answer

  **jefferoni:** i honestly don't know

  **jefferoni:** now just leave in peace for the month. god knows how much i need a break from your stupid ideas

 

 **gay.ham:** um

 **gay.ham:** alrighty then

 

 

 **jefferoni:** and don’t even think about telling a soul about this

 **jefferoni:** im serious

 

 **gay.ham:** of course not! who do you think i am??

* * *

 

 **_gay.ham_ ** _started a private chat with_ **_jlrns_** _,_ **_mull-i-can_** _,_ **_eliiiza_** _,_ **_angel_** _, and_ **_frenchfry_ **

  
  
**gay.ham:** holy fuCK guys you will never guess what just happened


	4. oops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jlrns: 3 DAYS AND 8 HOURS UNTIL PROM  
> jlrns: are ye ready kids??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY 
> 
> I know it's been literal months since I've last posted, since my co-worker and I have been so busy with the end of the school year, but here me out.
> 
> So this is my plan:  
> As you may have seen, I leveled out the update dates from the three chapters I've already posted. This was because I wanted a fresh start. Not to mention seeing how long it had been since I last posted kind of drained my motivation. So, I promise you right now I will finish this story. As of right now, there's only one chapter left, but if I find someone willing to write it with me (you can msg if you're interested?) I'd love to continue it. I just can't on my own. Thank you, and have a wonderful day!

 

 

**_jlrns_ ** _ added _ **_washingmachine, peggomyeggo,_ ** _ and _ **_aar.burr_ ** _ to _ **_yankee doodle dandy_ **

 

 

 

**jlrns:** 3 DAYS AND 8 HOURS UNTIL PROM

 

 

**jlrns:** are ye ready kids??

 

 

**gay.ham:** no not really 

 

 

**jlrns:** ignoring your pessimism,,,, whos going with who?

 

 

**gay.ham:** im?? offended??

 

 

**jlrns:** hush smol one i meant other than us

 

 

**mull-i-can:** im going with laf? literally who else would put up with my ass

 

 

**frenchfry:** we’re both going to wear yellow

 

 

**mull-i-can:** honey

 

**mull-i-can:** darling

 

**mull-i-can:** love of my life

 

**mull-i-can:** my beautiful sun

 

**mull-i-can:** im not wearing yellow to prom its gross and not my color

 

 

**frenchfry:** tragic

 

 

**jefferoni:** james and i are going as friends

 

**frenchfry:** ( ͡͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡ °)

 

 

**madasahatter:** don’t do that

 

 

**aar.burr:** I’m going with Theodosia  ^_^

 

 

**gay.ham:** burr no one gives a flizzling fuck about you or your 2006 emojis. now go and cry to my chemical romance in your bedroom

 

 

**jlrns:** ‘flizzling’ W HAT 

 

 

**gay.ham:** im sorry the position of grammar police has already been taken thank you and 

goodnight

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** okay im new to this hot mess of a chat but i sense alex is being saltier than usual

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** *fucc

 

 

**jlrns:** ignore him, hes still pissed about prom last year when maria reynolds turned him down ahaha 

 

**gay.ham:** john

 

 

**eliiiza:** hate to break it to you boys, but maria asked me last night  /(≧∇≦)\

 

 

**angel:** and im going with dolley payne, madison’s sister

 

 

**madasahatter:** congratulations, you have my blessing

 

 

**angel:** congratulations, i didn’t ask

 

**peggomyeggo:** damnnn angel back it again with them petty comebacks

 

 

**angel:** peggy this is 2017 get your crusty damn daniel memes out of here 

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** i can accept this

 

 

**angel:** also your meme game is weak

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** bi tch

 

**peggomyeggo:** also who needs prom im staying home with the cat

 

 

**angel:** i always had a feeling you were secretly a furry

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** excuse me 

 

**peggomyeggo:** ill have you know my fursona is a pyrofox from the forest planet you uncultured swine

 

 

**jlrns:** angelica you ignorant slut

 

 

**angel:** how dare you reference the office at me in my own home

 

 

**gay:ham:** youre at the schuyler house??

 

 

**jlrns:** yes i specifically remember telling you this last night ‘im letting you know you right now, im going to angie’s house tomorrow. dont say i never told you’

 

 

**gay.ham:** yes but you say lots of things i cant remember them all

 

 

**jlrns:** i told you  s e v e n  t i m e s

 

 

**gay.ham:** whoops sorry

 

 

**jlrns:** its okay i still love you

 

 

**gay.ham:** thats pretty Gay john

 

 

**jlrns:** we are pretty Gay

 

 

**gay.ham:** o shit ur rite

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** yes yes were all very gay now go to bed

 

 

**angel:** tell me something

 

 

**angel:** when i said john was at my house, how does that translate to ‘hey guys why don’t all of you show up at my door at 2 in the morning unannounced and demand a sleepover or i will be accused of tyranny’

 

 

**mull-i-can:** its all about subtext really 

 

**mull-i-can:** also relax we asked eliza first

 

 

**eliiiza:** they promised snacks 

 

**eliiiza:** i couldnt say no to snacks 

 

 

**frenchfry:** what is done is done

 

 

**mull-i-can:** you got drunk, complimented my sweater, then threw up on said sweater approximately five seconds afterwards

 

 

**frenchfry:** as i said, done

 

 

**frenchfry:** also dont be so dramatic it was at least 10

 

 

**mull-i-can:** baby i think dramatic was threatening to divorce me for not sharing my blanket with you

 

 

**mull-i-can:** which was strange considering were not married yet

 

 

**frenchfry:** i was cold and you are warm, therefore i have no regrets

 

 

**mull-i-can:** i was freezing you beautiful french fuck

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** fucc*

 

 

**jlrns:** fucc*

 

**jlrns:** goddamnit too late

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** i am a lean mean memeing machine so you can come at me you little shit

 

 

**gay.ham:** why have you both decided to correct the word now

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** e x c u s e  m e ?

 

 

**gay.ham:** right right sorry

 

 

**angel:** yeah okay whatever but the next time y’all decide to do this on a school night, itd probably be wise not to also do it the night before exams

 

 

**jlrns:** FU C I FORGOT WHA

 

 

**mull-i-can:** SHITITSHITITHSHIT

 

 

**frenchfry:** LE FUCC WHAT HAVE WE DONE

 

**frenchfry:** ITS ALL GONE TO SHIT

 

 

**gaymham:** guess ill just die

 

 

**eliiiza:** good luck on exams today guys! ^_^

 

 

**angel:** scroll up honey

 

 

**eliiiza:** o shi

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** y’all are amateurs im taking a day off and waiting till makeups

 

 

**mull-i-gan:** PEG YOU ARE A GENIUS I OWE YOU MY LIFE AND SOUL I WILL NAME MY FIRSTBORN CHILD AFTER YOU HOLY SH

 

 

**peggomyeggo:** ah yes hello this is my child margarita i named them after  a cocktail made with tequila and citrus fruit juice.

 

 

**gay.ham:** all of you need to shut the fucc up im studying

 

**peggomyeggo:** thats it im calling my lawyer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was wild and awful, i hoped you found the tiniest ounce of this humorous in any way.
> 
> also, a special cut line from the scene towards the end:
> 
> "peggomyeggo: the theory of wumbo clearly states that when applied to a being that is non-binary, fuck can only be spelled with two c’s: fucc. It’s basic geometry, alexander and im honestly offended by the fact that you didn't know that."
> 
> I have no heckin idea why my brain decided to write this but thank god I had enough sense to take it down jc


End file.
